Back to Reality!

Back to reality on Monday. I got a full time job working at my old job before I moved to Georgia. I'm looking forward to it. Just wish that I could have waited a couple more weeks or maybe a couple of years!!!! Someday I will be able to be the stay at home mom I have always wanted to be.. I just wish it was now with Connor.

I love being in Mattapoisett and I hope Brett loves it too. I feel that this move has been great therapy for me. I don't always have the time that I had in Georgia to think about things. Here I'm busy and there is always people around to keep me occupied. My mind still races of what ifs, what if Connor was here, what would I be doing. Would we even be here? I hate that all of his stuff is in storage except for one bin that I keep with me. I miss seeing his crib all set up. I hope someday it will be put to good use. I know Connor would like that. I miss him so much and my heart just feels so heavy at times. I miss going to my support group. We found one up here but missed the August Meeting so we will have to wait for September.

We celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary this past Sunday. We had to drive my sister back to school with my parents in the morning, but then Brett and I came home so that we could go out to dinner. We had a very nice dinner at Not Your Average Joe's. This weekend we are going to go to Newport to celebrate. We were going to go back to Martha's Vineyard where we had our honeymoon but thought we should go somewhere different. As much as I enjoyed our 1st anniversary something was missing, actually someone was missing, our Baby Connor. He was suppose to be here. Our wedding night is actually the night we conceived Connor. Brett thinks it was our honeymoon, but I know deep down in my heart that it was that night. I can't believe that it has been a year since then. Time flies.

Ok so I have been rambling and I'm all over the place. Time to make dinner! Have a good night!